Last Friday all my colleagues got together for a nice, nice party. I made desserts. Our deputy director made kebabs. A former employee brought a veggie tray. We’ve been planning it for a long time – saying goodbye to some interns who have been with us for the past year, welcoming the new crop, celebrating our successes. I have great coworkers, and they all have great husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and a lovely time was had by all.
But, a few weeks ago, I had thought that this might be a good time to debut Writer Guy. I’m not heartbroken about Writer Guy specifically (yeah yeah, I know, he’s a flake at best and a jerk at worst), but I’m pretty damned tired of being single and it was disappointing to be there alone.
The last few weeks, it seems like everyone I’ve met is married, getting married, or otherwise settled down with a beloved partner. Interviewing interns two weeks ago, two mentioned their upcoming weddings. At an event last night, a guy I thought was flirting with me complained about the bad bus service at the house he shares with his fiancee.
In the midst of all these pairings-off, it can get a little lonely.
This project – thrusting myself back into the dating pool, writing about it for all to see – has done me a world of good. Already, I’m coming around to the idea that I might be a desirable, dateable creature. Already, I’m realizing that the problem I’ve had has been of my own making (and not because I’m an inherently unlovable schmuck). In short, I’m already more confident in approaching potential dates (online, at least) and less distraught when someone I’m interested in doesn’t seem interested in me.
All this is good, and I’m grateful for it, but at the end of the day I’m still alone and I’d rather not be. As entertaining as the dating process is (for you and me both, readers), I’d love to skip right over it into partnership. I want someone to call when I’m feeling down (like, uh, now).