This weekend brought surprising updates from both Writer Guy and Zen Master. In short, the situation is this: Zen Master, out. Writer Guy, in?
The Zen Master situation is shorter and sweeter: he met someone else. Good for him. Seriously, I never even met him in person, so this is not at all upsetting. In fact, I’m intrigued by his online dating strategy. He told me that he doesn’t like to date more than one person at once, period. He’s been on one date with another woman, and as a result doesn’t want to go out with me until he knows how that situation will play out.
Which leads me to Writer Guy. I think I made a mistake with him. You know how I’m horribly out of practice with this whole dating thing? I really don’t know what the generally accepted time frames are for relationship progression. (I know, I know, time frames schmime frames, but I at least want to know the rules before I break them, right?) By the time it ended with Writer Guy, we’d been seeing each other for around five weeks. I think, in an effort to seem cool, I held him at too much of a distance, given the amount of time we were spending together. You know when I decided to keep my options open? He saw my new ad on datingcurves.com. I’m guessing the message he got from that was less “She’s really into me and is keeping her options open so she doesn’t act too much like an idiot,” and more “She’s looking for something better.” Yeah, I know, in order to see my ad he had to be on the site too. But my point is not that it was wrong for me to put the ad up there – it wasn’t – but that I think doing that gave him the wrong impression.
Ok, but that’s not even the point. I’m just musing on my own failings, one of my favorite lines of thought. Here’s what I really wanted to say about Writer Guy:
I had written off Writer Guy early last week, after he (almost) stood me up for a non-date. I’d sent him a cranky e-mail saying that I understood he was going through some tough stuff and if he wanted me to be there for him during it I was more than willing, but that I wouldn’t stand for being jerked around. Until yesterday there was silence on his end, which is what I expected. But then I get an email from him, deeply apologetic, that includes a link to a video on YouTube about the chemistry of love.*
What. The. Hell. I just can’t figure him out. Everything he is doing says to me that he’s not interested – including, uh, his expressly saying that he wants to take a break while he works out this big thing he’s going through – but then he throws in these curve balls. Why on earth does he want me to watch a video about dopamine and serotonin and whatnot? What am I supposed to ascertain from this message?
*Not linking to it, because it reveals some things that aren’t mine to reveal. Sorry to be so cloak and dagger!
*Oh, and: No, we never got close to the L-word.